So this is the New Year

And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions



So, it's a new year. this year seems pretty new so far, i guess?
it's actually pretty similar to most new years:

-fireworks on new years eve
-writing '08 instead of '09 in the date
-dreading the return of school
-holiday lag: still used to sleeping in, and staying up late. not good for school...

but this new years was somewhat significant.
mainly for it's fleetingness. it seems that most years, christmas holidays and new years takes forever to arrive, and we have all this time to prepare, and anticipate. but this year, it just creeped up on me. i found myself running out of time to christmas shop,, and spend time with friends. then new years rushed by.

now, only five months till i graduate.



five.








not much, especially since this year seems to be going quicker the closer it gets to the end. i had been slowly realizing just how little time i had here in Lufkin, but full realization hit me like bricks the first day back to school.
i think it happened to everyone, because we were all talking about how close we were to graduation.

suddenly, i can't imagine life outside of high school, and college seems like some scary, but exciting place that will be forever outside of my reach, as if i'm held in this invisible cage. i can reach my fingers out, but my body won't mover an inch closer. it's like.... watching a movie, a documentary from long ago. you know whatever that movie is about is out there, but you won't be able to reach it, see it, experience it.

that's what i'm feeling. i kind of don't want to. i want to stay in lufkin, i went to get out of high school, but i'm going to miss the people, the (few) things, (some of) the classes i had.







so, this new year, as routine as it's been, has been a complete rollercoaster lately...



-H