Sunday, October 4, 2009

Posted for Derek because he keeps bugging me to post.

I'm trying to get by. It's hard, having him so far away. He's my best friend, the person who makes me the happiest I've ever been.
And I miss him so damn much. Every chance I get to see him seems so fleeting, to short of a window. I know we can make it, but it's just harder than I thought it would be. I suppose we'll be better for it. Appreciate the time we have with each other when we don't have to worry about an expiration date. The days I'm not with him fly by fast, but so, too, do the moments I am.
I'm just ready for this year to be over.
Ready to see him anytime I want.
Ready to not have to say goodbye. I'm trying so hard to get this year over with. To run past the days that will bring me closer to the man I want to be with. This separation is killing me, but he is keeping me alive. I need him so much, and I'm trying to make it to that moment where I can just be with him.
I love him so much.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

and it was me and you, and the whole town underwater


Time is running out.
As we knew it would. It's just weird seeing it here, so close, so... tangible. I can already see myself saying goodbye, closing the door, seeing him for one last time until i make the first of many visits back home.
Everything will be different. It will be the start of a test to see if We'll make it. I have confidence that We'll pass, but it's going to be tough. We're going to have to do the work if this project is going to be an A+.
But if, and WHEN We make it through this tough year, We will be better for it. We'll be close, and We'll know that we can overcome even time and distance.

If Claire Abshire can fall in love with a man she met 152 times over the span of her life before he even knew who she was, and stay in love with him over a gap of several years, then i believe we can make it.

"This isn't a conversation about this being over, it's, it's... I'm not, like, putting a period at the end of this, you know, I'm putting, like, an ellipsis on it, cause I'm- I'm- I'm worried that if I don't figure myself out, if I don't go like land on my own two feet, then I'm just gonna to mess this whole thing up, and this is too important. I gotta go... you changed my life in [a year]. This is the beginning of something really big. But right now, I gotta go."

Monday, July 27, 2009

It's been a while...

not that anyone reads my blog...

but i decided I would post on here again. School is about to start, and I think I'm almost ready.
Not physically.... I'm not packed, my room isn't cleaned (but it's on it's way) and everything for my dorm isn't bought yet.
but Mentally. I've been so scared of leaving, and I still am, but I think I'm ready to accept that it's not going to change, and that I have to just deal with it. I'm almost ready for this next step. I'm still not read to leave everyone behind, but I'm ready to move forward.

It's not a great place to be in...
But i'll work through it, I know I will. I'm strong, or I like to think so anyway. And I have people who will help me through this.
So here's to reassurance, I suppose. And acceptance.
TCU, i'll see you in a few weeks.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

So this is the New Year

And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions



So, it's a new year. this year seems pretty new so far, i guess?
it's actually pretty similar to most new years:

-fireworks on new years eve
-writing '08 instead of '09 in the date
-dreading the return of school
-holiday lag: still used to sleeping in, and staying up late. not good for school...

but this new years was somewhat significant.
mainly for it's fleetingness. it seems that most years, christmas holidays and new years takes forever to arrive, and we have all this time to prepare, and anticipate. but this year, it just creeped up on me. i found myself running out of time to christmas shop,, and spend time with friends. then new years rushed by.

now, only five months till i graduate.



five.








not much, especially since this year seems to be going quicker the closer it gets to the end. i had been slowly realizing just how little time i had here in Lufkin, but full realization hit me like bricks the first day back to school.
i think it happened to everyone, because we were all talking about how close we were to graduation.

suddenly, i can't imagine life outside of high school, and college seems like some scary, but exciting place that will be forever outside of my reach, as if i'm held in this invisible cage. i can reach my fingers out, but my body won't mover an inch closer. it's like.... watching a movie, a documentary from long ago. you know whatever that movie is about is out there, but you won't be able to reach it, see it, experience it.

that's what i'm feeling. i kind of don't want to. i want to stay in lufkin, i went to get out of high school, but i'm going to miss the people, the (few) things, (some of) the classes i had.







so, this new year, as routine as it's been, has been a complete rollercoaster lately...



-H


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Let It Snow :)

So, this day, in just the past few hours, has gotten so much better than i ever thought it would be.

Living Nativity was of course, set up to be phenomenal. The coolest kids were there, and I got to be an Angel with two of my besties, Mariah, and Megan. Not long into the start of the Living Nativity, it began to sleet, but it eventually turned into SNOW! It kept going back and forth between sleet and snow, but eventually just kept snowing. We had to close the Living Nativity, but it was still great while it lasted. Hopefully tomorrow, we'll get to stay open the whole time.

But after we had changed into our normal clothes, bundled up, and such, (after taking pictures, of course!), we went outside and of course danced in the snow!

It was great. There was snowball fights, chasing through the parking lot, honestly, it's the best december i've ever had. I loved hanging out with my friends, Mariah, Megan, Dylan, and Andres. It was pure fun, in the snow. We went to starbucks (sans Megan, who had to go home), and sipped on hot beverages and just had a good time talking.

I hope it snows again, especially on Christmas. That would be an amazing Christmas present. I haven't had a white Christmas since I was in kindergarten, and I don't even remember that. I love the snow, where it actually feels like the holidays, and spending time with those I care about when there's such holiday spirit, and joy to share.

Here's to hoping for a White Christmas, kids. I hope everyone enjoyed the snow in Lufkin!

<3 H

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Freedom of Choice Act

Freedom of Choice Act (Introduced in House)
HR 1964 IH
110th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. R. 1964

To protect, consistent with Roe v. Wade, a woman's freedom to choose to bear a child or terminate a pregnancy, and for other purposes.

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
April 19, 2007
Mr. NADLER [to see current list of House co-sponsors, click here] introduced the following bill; which was referred to the Committee on the Judiciary


--------------------------

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A BILL
To protect, consistent with Roe v. Wade, a woman's freedom to choose to bear a child or terminate a pregnancy, and for other purposes.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,
SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.
This Act may be cited as the ..Freedom of Choice Act'.
SEC. 2. FINDINGS.
Congress finds the following:
(1) The United States was founded on core principles, such as liberty, personal privacy, and equality, which ensure that individuals are free to make their most intimate decisions without governmental interference and discrimination.
(2) One of the most private and difficult decisions an individual makes is whether to begin, prevent, continue, or terminate a pregnancy. Those reproductive health decisions are best made by women, in consultation with their loved ones and health care providers.
(3) In 1965, in Griswold v. Connecticut (381 U.S. 479), and in 1973, in Roe v. Wade (410 U.S. 113) and Doe v. Bolton (410 U.S. 179), the Supreme Court recognized that the right to privacy protected by the Constitution encompasses the right of every woman to weigh the personal, moral, and religious considerations involved in deciding whether to begin, prevent, continue, or terminate a pregnancy.
(4) The Roe v. Wade decision carefully balances the rights of women to make important reproductive decisions with the State's interest in potential life. Under Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton, the right to privacy protects a woman's decision to choose to terminate her pregnancy prior to fetal viability, with the State permitted to ban abortion after fetal viability except when necessary to protect a woman's life or health.
(5) These decisions have protected the health and lives of women in the United States. Prior to the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973, an estimated 1,200,000 women each year were forced to resort to illegal abortions, despite the risk of unsanitary conditions, incompetent treatment, infection, hemorrhage, disfiguration, and death. Before Roe, it is estimated that thousands of women died annually in the United States as a result of illegal abortions.
(6) In countries in which abortion remains illegal, the risk of maternal mortality is high. According to the World Health Organization, of the approximately 600,000 pregnancy-related deaths occurring annually around the world, 80,000 are associated with unsafe abortions.
(7) The Roe v. Wade decision also expanded the opportunities for women to participate equally in society. In 1992, in Planned Parenthood v. Casey (505 U.S. 833), the Supreme Court observed that, ..[t]he ability of women to participate equally in the economic and social life of the Nation has been facilitated by their ability to control their reproductive lives.'.
(8) Even though the Roe v. Wade decision has stood for more than 30 years, there are increasing threats to reproductive health and freedom emerging from all branches and levels of government. In 2006, South Dakota became the first State in more than 15 years to enact a ban ..ion in nearly all circumstances. Supporters of this ban have admitted it is an attempt to directly challenge Roe in the courts. Other States are considering similar bans.
(9) Further threatening Roe, the Supreme Court recently upheld the first-ever Federal ban ..ion, which has no exception to protect a woman's health. The majority decision in Gonzales v. Carhart and Gonzales v. Planned Parenthood Federation of America permits the government to interfere with a woman's right to choose to terminate a pregnancy and effectively overturns a core tenet of Roe v. Wade by abandoning more than 30 years of protection for women's health. Dissenting in that case, Justice Ginsburg called the majority's opinion ..alarming,' and stated that, ..[f]or the first time since Roe, the Court blesses a prohibition with no exception safeguarding a woman's health.' Further, she said, the Federal ban ..and the Court's defense of it cannot be understood as anything other than an effort to chip away at a right declared again and again by this Court.'.
(10) Legal and practical barriers to the full range of reproductive services endanger women's health and lives. Incremental restrictions on the right to choose imposed by Congress and State legislatures have made access to abortion care extremely difficult, if not impossible, for many women across the country. Currently, 87 percent of the counties in the United States have no abortion provider.
(11) While abortion should remain safe and legal, women should also have more meaningful access to family planning services that prevent unintended pregnancies, thereby reducing the need for abortion.
(12) To guarantee the protections of Roe v. Wade, Federal legislation is necessary.
(13) Although Congress may not create constitutional rights without amending the Constitution, Congress may, where authorized by its enumerated powers and not prohibited by the Constitution, enact legislation to create and secure statutory rights in areas of legitimate national concern.
(14) Congress has the affirmative power under section 8 of article I of the Constitution and section 5 of the 14th amendment to the Constitution to enact legislation to facilitate interstate commerce and to prevent State interference with interstate commerce, liberty, or equal protection of the laws.
(15) Federal protection of a woman's right to choose to prevent or terminate a pregnancy falls within this affirmative power of Congress, in part, because--
(A) many women cross State lines to obtain abortions and many more would be forced to do so absent a constitutional right or Federal protection;
(B) reproductive health clinics are commercial actors that regularly purchase medicine, medical equipment, and other necessary supplies from out-of-State suppliers; and
(C) reproductive health clinics employ doctors, nurses, and other personnel who travel across State lines in order to provide reproductive health services to patients.
SEC. 3. DEFINITIONS.
In this Act:
(1) GOVERNMENT- The term ..government' includes a branch, department, agency, instrumentality, or official (or other individual acting under color of law) of the United States, a State, or a subdivision of a State.
(2) STATE- The term ..State' means each of the States, the District of Columbia, the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, and each territory or possession of the United States.
(3) VIABILITY- The term ..viability' means that stage of pregnancy when, in the best medical judgment of the attending physician based on the particular medical facts of the case before the physician, there is a reasonable likelihood of the sustained survival of the fetus outside of the woman.
SEC. 4. INTERFERENCE WITH REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH PROHIBITED.
(a) Statement of Policy- It is the policy of the United States that every woman has the fundamental right to choose to bear a child, to terminate a pregnancy prior to fetal viability, or to terminate a pregnancy after fetal viability when necessary to protect the life or health of the woman.
(b) Prohibition of Interference- A government may not--

(1) deny or interfere with a woman's right to choose--
(A) to bear a child;
(B) to terminate a pregnancy prior to viability; or
(C) to terminate a pregnancy after viability where termination is necessary to protect the life or health of the woman; or
(2) discriminate against the exercise of the rights set forth in paragraph (1) in the regulation or provision of benefits, facilities, services, or information.
(c) Civil Action- An individual aggrieved by a violation of this section may obtain appropriate relief (including relief against a government) in a civil action.
SEC. 5. SEVERABILITY.
If any provision of this Act, or the application of such provision to any person or circumstance, is held to be unconstitutional, the remainder of this Act, or the application of such provision to persons or circumstances other than those as to which the provision is held to be unconstitutional, shall not be affected thereby.
SEC. 6. RETROACTIVE EFFECT.
This Act applies to every Federal, State, and local statute, ordinance, regulation, administrative order, decision, policy, practice, or other action enacted, adopted, or implemented before, on, or after the date of enactment of this Act.
=======================================================

I love the Freedom Of Choice Act. I think it helps define the standards America needs for legal abortions.

But I have a serious problem with people against the FOCA who don't take time to actually read and comprehend the bill and then make blown out of proportion statements and assumptions. People who say the bill makes it legal to have abortions throughout the whole nine months of pregnancy aren't even trying to make a good argument, they're just being ignorant and trying to get people to go against the bill for the wrong reasons. There's no way the Congress would let a bill that says anything of that nature pass.

Also, people who don't get what 'protect the life or health of the woman' means need to understand that ultimately, the baby comes second. If the mother consents to having an abortion because the fetus has somehow become a parasite and is killing her, then by all means, the woman has every right to terminate pregnancy. I'm not saying we should allow abortions after it's developed into a viable fetus all the time, but there are certain circumstances where it must happen, or the mother dies, and it's her choice to live or give her life up for her baby.

I'm not trying to say i'm totally for abortion. i would never suggest one, personally. But I think that women do have the right to terminate if they so wish. The fetus is part of the woman's body while during the womb, and subject to her decisions. I think it is totally fair to give women a little freedom with abortions, because it is their body.

But I respect a decision to be anti-abortion. I can see where you are coming from, and I am not trying to bash those who are anti-abortion. I just think people need to make more informed and well thought out ideas and statements about why they are against something, and not go all free radical and damning supporters of the bill.

Pro-Choice is not Pro-Death! Don't even start that mess.

Just my thoughts...

-H

Sunday, August 24, 2008

So school starts

tomorrow.

:(

i think that about sums that up...